Talking to your kids about terrorism – Flying with Kaleel Sakakeeny

“Daddy, why do all those men have guns! I’m scared.” “Well, honey, those men with the big, black guns are here to help us, to keep us safe.” “But why Daddy? Who wants to hurt us?” “Oh, don’t worry. No one really. The nice men with the guns are here just for…” “But I’m scared.”

So, how does a parent explain to his/her kids all those big guys in uniforms with their big guns and dogs as families check-in to an airport to fly to grandma’s or maybe Disney or some place where bonding is why they’re taking the trip in the first place?

One well-known family travel Web site had this advice: “Family travelers departing or returning to the U.S. should expect to see heightened, possibly armed and uniformed security, at airports, and should discuss the situation in an age-appropriate manner with children who may be apprehensive.” Absolutely accurate but useless information.

What is an “age appropriate manner” to discuss why there are people with guns and dogs walking around and coming right up to our bodies, our faces? What on earth does “age appropriate” mean anyway these days?

Does that mean telling older kids that the guys with the guns are can shoot and kill people just like in the video games? Does it mean telling your little ones that the doggies are just out for walk and the men have make-believe guns like in the, in the, what?

I’ve talked to family psychologists and their advice is pretty useless. Don’t scare your children, they say, but be open and frank about the dangers they face. That’s helpful.

So, how does a parent reassure a child, at the same time explaining honestly that some people want to destroy planes with people in them?

I’d like someone to explain what specifically we say to our children when they stare wide-eyed at all the armed personnel and feel the tensions around them or perhaps they’ve become so used to it. Maybe it seems like a familiar TV show to them.

One Web site offered this vague advice: acknowledge your children’s feelings. Knowing what to say is often difficult. When no other words come to mind, a hug and saying "This is really hard for you/us" may help. Be sure to reassure your child. Letting him or her know things will be all right is very comforting.
Older children in particular may need help identifying what they individually believe about war and terrorism. Questions such as: "how could anyone do something like this?" may need discussion. Like what kind?

In the meantime, some practical advice from me:

Make extra time at the airport. It’ll allow you to have a meal together since no personal beverages or liquid nutrition (bottled water, sippy cups, shakes, soups, etc.) will be permitted on board. A well-fed, well-watered family at least has that anxiety out of the way.

It’s my opinion, and has been, that families should buy a comprehensive travel insurance policy (not a trip-protection plan available through some credit cards). A complete policy will cover trip cancellation and interruption, often for terrorist-related incidents in any city you are flying to, through or from, but check with the insurance company to be sure it covers terrorist-related events and not just a terrorist act.

Contact us for further information (leave a comment below), or watch this Cheap Flight News space.

For security updates, log on to the Department of State or call 888/407-4747 toll-free in the U.S. or outside the U.S. and Canada on a regular toll line at 202/501-4444.

Pity they don’t tell travelers how to explain all of this to their kids.

Kaleel Sakakeeny is a national print and broadcast travel journalist. Read and listen to more of his work at www.gotravelupdates.com.

The views expressed in this column are those of the author and do not reflect the views of Cheap Flight News